Being authentic, player relationships and 'why?'

Asking for feedback

Feeling more confident around asking for feedback enabled me to:

• Regularly create platforms for asking questions without fear 
• Read, listen and learn about areas that required more detail within the reps
• Build better connections with my players around what they thought the session’s focuses were and what areas they wanted to explore more deeply.

This approach was transformative. It has allowed me to become a more effective coach and fostered dialogue with my players, leading to stronger relationships. 

I once read that "you can only coach a player to the depth of your relationship with them". 

That applies heavily to the topic of feedback. If you don’t have a shared level of trust from coach to player, then you can’t access the truth behind your session, or identify the areas of development. 

My advice – start asking questions and ask yourself: “How well do I know my players?”. 

The ’why?’ behind session design

When it comes to planning a session, it’s widely known that "coaches are the best thieves". They steal from others to build their plans.

But when you fall into the space of replication, it’s vital to remember seeing and borrowing can only be effective if you first understand the ‘why?’ behind the inclusion of an element in your practice. 

You must have questions to ask regarding its relevance, as well as possessing the creativity to envision what your version of this looks like, ensuring that it remains authentic to you.

I work more closely with my players and seek feedback more consistently. It leads to more regular self-reflection sessions, to ask myself "what my ’why?’ was".

It also allowed me to start to anticipate what a player might want or take from my session. 

I question the ‘why?’ behind whether what I aimed to create, replicate or borrow was truly aligned with the needs of the group. It has pre-empted the experience my players were looking for, due to the conversations we are now having session-to-session.

This has helped shape my sessions to be more accurate, and also allowed me to step into the role of a coach and creator. 

This is because it has built a more creative mind for coaching:

• Understanding how to progress and regress more effectively.
• Knowing how to shape something I’d seen or admired to be more aligned to my style of coaching and my desired outcomes. 

As I coach now, I’m always conscious of my younger self, the ‘coaching thief’ who was so eager to create, replicate and adapt. 

Whether that version of myself still plays a part in my coaching now I’m unsure, but what I do know is that without him trying to experience and implement everything he saw then I wouldn’t have ever stepped into a space of understanding the value in being vulnerable, seeking feedback and understanding the why.

Three questions to challenge you

• "How comfortable are you with showing vulnerability to your players, and how might this impact their willingness to provide honest feedback?"
• "When planning your sessions, do you consistently question the ’why’ behind each element, and how do you ensure it aligns with both your coaching philosophy and the needs of your players?"
• "How do you create a trusting environment where both you and your players feel confident exploring areas for improvement together?"