'My team rallied after learning I had cancer'

At the end of January 2023, I resigned from my job. I didn’t know it, but I was about to find out I had breast cancer.

I had felt ill, on and off, for about a year. My plan had been to rest up, get fitter, keep coaching rugby and manage my time better by working for myself, as I had earlier in my career, as a lawyer. 

However, after the cancer diagnosis, the only thing that would continue was the rugby coaching.

I decided to tell my players, and some of the other coaches, about my illness. The silent response was universal, followed by huge hugs. I coach adult women, so that’s more than ok.

The conversations were intended to confront many things, including the possibility that it was very serious indeed. I didn’t want to hide away or pretend it wasn’t happening.

I also knew, for some periods, I would not be able to coach and we needed to plan for that, too.

My players, and the club, helped me keep going. I wanted to include in this piece some reflections from the team.

One of the players wrote: "On receiving the news, a cascade of emotions swept through the team.

"What resonated the most was the unwavering support and solidarity that characterises our women’s rugby team."

Her own experiences of breast cancer had been minimal. She added: "This experience allowed me to contribute additional support in ways I hadn’t previously considered, showcasing the strength of our collective bond."

The women that I coach either knew, or had heard of, women with breast cancer. One player was supporting her mum abroad through the end of her treatment. 

As women, we have collective memories of women with breast cancer. These include death, debilitating treatment and permanent injury. 

With classic rugby humour, I was reassured, joking about wigs, "braving the shave" and the benefits of having no intimate hair to deal with.

"The women that I coach either knew, or had heard of, women with breast cancer..."

Another player wrote: "I felt grateful that Maggie told us. I realised that continuing with coaching would probably help her physically and mentally. 

"It brought into focus how playing a team sport can support women, even in middle age."

I think the reference to ’middle age’ is my age – nearly 60 – not the player’s age. Still rude, though!

My team trains all year round. We play touch rugby. In the off-season, we move to a public park in Peckham Rye, south-east London.

We train next to the play park and café. Players bring kids, visitors, picnics and sun cream. Sundays together are part of our schedule.

During my treatment, I had two operations. The second was a shock and a dip into ’it might be getting serious’ territory.