Be the best sports parent you can be. Gordon MacLelland of Working With Parents in Sport helps you understand why good intentions can be bad news and what you can do make your child’s sporting experience a very positive one.
Every weekend all over the world millions of parents, children and coaches set off for their weekly sporting ritual match day. Many will follow the same process each week and will never question their routine or behaviour.
Many of these parents and coaches are well intentioned, trying to support their child and their team through match situations totally unaware of the damage they may be doing by overly involving themselves before and after but crucially during the game itself.
I say that they are unaware because if they are not, the current climate on the sidelines is far worse than I currently fear.
Recently I carried out a little experiment at an Under 8 grassroots football match in the UK. I counted the number of tactical instructions yelled from the sideline by parents and coaches to the children. There were 134 yelled out in 40 minutes of play.I must stress that this did not include positive praise.
Now imagine as adults if we were embarking on a task and during this time we were being yelled new instructions, in this case approximately four a minute. On top of that, add that some of these instructions were also contradictory. I believe that not only would we struggle to concentrate but we would struggle to make the correct decisions that we were originally carrying out. Just think how this must feel for a child actively involved in a sporting situation?
Caught up in the excitement and emotion of a game, many parents and coaches feel that they are really helping and supporting their children whilst watching by shouting technical or tactical instruction. Whilst this may on occasions in the short term prove successful there are major long term implications of this for the player.
• It reduces problem solving skills
• It decreases decision making skills
• It reduces creativity in young players
• It reduces the child’s enjoyment
• It increases the pressure on the child
• It increases anxiety in the child
• It prevents children from mastering life skills
• It decreases the ability of the child to cope independently(particularly if the parent and the coach are not around)
Bearing all this in mind it is important that we then generate an understanding of how all of this is linked together with the behaviour that we are displaying. The infographic, above, from our friends at believeperform.com gives us a very powerful visual image.
My message to parents:
Are you shouting tactical instructions on the sidelines?
If your answer is, “Yes,” then stop. Stop now.
I can already hear you justifying why. I can already hear you rationalising your particular approach. I can hear you because I could be you. I have been you. I’ve wanted to right the wrongs for my child. I’ve wanted him to score. I’ve wanted him to feel joy in victory. I’ve wanted him to avoid the pain of losing. I’ve wanted him to know I am there, that I love him, that I’m his biggest fan.
But, let me ask you:
Do you think it helps?
It does not.
Screaming and shouting tactical instructions is bad. It is that simple.
My message to coaches:
The above still applies however there can be a little bit of flexibility if you are trying to assist your team and individuals but it should be a very measured approach.
We have a number of parents who contact us who have been told by organisations what they would like them to do and how to behave but then they have to watch the coach do exactly the opposite. Coaches must be great role models for parents and help create the right environment for the children by leading from the front. Parents will then follow.
With positive support only on the touchlines can we regain control of an environment that is in real danger of spiraling out of control.
In its current climate, the only people who are suffering in the long term are the people who we love and want to achieve the most; the children.
Gordon is founder of parentsinsport.co.uk, He is a qualified teacher and has been Director of Sport at an independent prep school in the UK for the last 10 years. He has worked in schools in both the UK and New Zealand for the last 16 years.
Dan is a practising RFU Level 3 coach and coach educator. He coaches with the Bristol Bears DPP programme, is head coach of Bristol Schools U18s and the Rugby Performance coach for Bristol Grammar School.
He was head coach of Swansea Schools U15, Young Ospreys Academy, assistant coach with the Wales Women's Team for the 2010 World Cup, director of rugby for Cranleigh School, Surrey. He played for Bath, Bristol, Esher and Clifton, South West division, Gloucestershire and Surrey.
Register now to get a free ebook worth £10
Get this brilliant ebook worth £10 for FREE when you register now
In-session feedback is a powerful way to improve development and performance. It’s called augmented feedback and Chris Stabler explains ...
Newsletter Sign Up
Join over 75k coaches that are saving time searching for fresh coaching ideas with our free email newsletter: ✔ New drills ✔ New games ✔ New warm-ups. Delivered direct to your email inbox
"I have been coaching competitive soccer for over 20 years in Las Vegas. I feel like you are my personal club director. My players and myself have learned a lot from your sessions. The exercises from Soccer Coach Weekly are easy to understand and implement. I never run out of ideas and there is always an exercise for whatever problem we need to fix. Thank you!"
Paul Butler, Florida, USA
"First and foremost, Soccer Coach Weekly is truly unique and exceptional for its clarity and for explaining the "why?", in addition to the "how?". Soccer Coach Weekly is also professionally managed - any issues, which are infrequent, are resolved in an expedient and courteous manner. I place Soccer Coach Weekly at the top of my recommendation list for any new or seasoned coach of the beautiful game."
Rick Shields, Springboro, USA
"I coach both young club players as well as players at the High School level and both genders. The talent range is wide at times, however with the use of Soccer Coach Weekly I am able to apply the information to all talent levels and player ages and make the session fun and challenging for all players. It has helped spark me at times when I am at a loss for what to do at the next training session or offers a different approach to a current problem."
Tony Green, Pierrefonds Titans, Quebec, Canada
"My team and myself are truly enjoying the Soccer Coach Weekly downloads. Pierrefonds Titans are a great group of U16 Females who compete in the Lac St-Louis Association of Montreal, Quebec, Canada."
Subscribe Today
Since 2006, we’ve helped tens of thousands of coaches just like you build strong teams and deliver effective and inspiring training sessions, week-in, week-out.
Discover the simple way to become a more effective, more successful soccer coach. ALL the support you need to become a great Youth Soccer coach: ✓ Proven, practical coaching advice
✓ Hundreds of ready-to-use drills and full-session practice plans
Issue 185 out now, featuring the best of 2024, including:
Making use of games in training
Adapting sessions
Coaching interventions
Be a more effective, more successful rugby coach
In a recent survey 89% of subscribers said Rugby Coach Weekly makes them more confident, 91% said Rugby Coach Weekly makes them a more effective coach and 93% said Rugby Coach Weekly makes them more inspired.
Rugby Coach Weekly offers proven and easy to use rugby drills, coaching sessions, practice plans, small-sided games, warm-ups, training tips and advice.
We've been at the cutting edge of rugby coaching since we launched in 2005, creating resources for the grassroots youth coach, following best practice from around the world and insights from the professional game.