Why parents are not your 'shark problem'

1. Lead by example

Our actions and reactions set the tone for those around us, including parents, who look to us for guidance and mirror our behavior.

Remember, it’s not only the players who observe and emulate us; parents also think, “If the coach is doing it, then I can, too". 

If the only influence you had on parents was your example, what would you do differently?

2. Be grateful for the opportunity to coach

Parents invest significant amounts of time, money and emotional energy in supporting their children’s athletic pursuits.

Regardless of their other options, they have chosen to place their trust in you as a coach. Take the time to express gratitude by saying simple expressions like, “Thank you for allowing me to coach your child”.

3. Share your coaching philosophy (and story)

Find opportunities to communicate your philosophy – whether it’s through an information meeting before tryouts or the first practice, or even a simple email introducing yourself and your approach.

Every philosophy has a story behind it. It could stem from your personal history as an athlete or a significant moment in your coaching career.

Collect these stories and share them often. Parents should know why you coach, why you coach the way you do, and your vision (not just goals) for the athletes’ experience.

4. Turn your pre-season parent meeting into an experience

Parents need opportunities to get to know other athletes and parents, build relationships and coalesce around a common goal.

Only when these connections are built are parents able to truly support the entire team and genuinely care for the other athletes.

Host a parent experience event in your program or include it as part of your official parent meeting. 

Start by having fun together: do a team-building activity, take team photos together, run a parent practice or share a meal. 

Consider finishing the event by co-creating a set of parent standards for the team to ensure success and a positive experience.

5. Share the conversations you want to have with parents

In most teams, coaches tend to communicate the conversations they won’t have with parents, i.e., around playing time.

However, I recommend starting by communicating the conversations you do want to have moving forward. 
As a coach I want to have a conversation when: 

• A child is struggling 
• The family is going through something difficult 
• The parent has a serious issue with my behavior 
• Something has been bothering the parents for an extended period of time.

Many coaches would look at this list of conversations and worry that it might invite trouble.

Well, let me reassure you. Coaches I’ve worked with who have shared their list of conversations have typically found that having an open-door policy actually leads to fewer parent meetings.

If you found these strategies beneficial, and would like to learn more about them and other strategies, get a copy of my most recent book, The Sports Parent Solution: Proven Strategies for Transforming Parents from Obstacles to Allies, from which this article has been adapted.